January 30, 2010


I'm just going to say it right now. The iPad looks retarded. It does. It's too big, too pricey, and there's too much memory. The mere name sounds like an idiot came up with it.

"Hey, I know what's funny!! (guffaw!) Howz about we name the huge-ass iPod touch an iPad?! Eh?! We change only one letter! Git it?!! Ha ha ha! (guffaw!)"

That's what I think happened. Seriously, the rumor name, iSlate sounded better than this.

This monster is supposed to be the wave of the future or something like that? HA! It's basically a giant iPod Touch. Using fingers and such. It's going to be a fingerprint magnet.

It's supposed to be the "everything device". Really now? Games, music, pictures, etc. There's no camera on this thing. It's not in widescreen, you know, like just about the many laptops out there. And there is no way in Hell that this monstrosity will replace my Wii or PS2. Plus, it uses MicroSIMS. Who uses them? Plus, you can't whatever software you want. I always use Firefox. But, you can't use it on this.

Here's what Apple says about it.
"The best way to experience web, email, photos, and video. Hands down."

Really?! I'm not a fan of giant screens. It just makes too much to read. Personally, if I really wanted to experience this, I could just use my small laptop. Everything looks crystal clear to me!

"It's hard to believe we could fit so many ideas to something this thin."

It truly is. I wonder what kind of ideas those were.

Look, I like portability but still, It'll feel awkward to see people using those giant things when I'm riding my bike around in my city's downtown. It's too big and noticeable. Not to mention it'll be so easy to steal.

"The screen is 9.7 inches measured diagonally."

My screen is smaller than that.

"Our most advanced technology in a magical and revolutionary product at an unbelievable price."

Touch screen technology has been done before. Like I said, it's just a glorified giant iPod Touch. And at only $499.00 USD, it truly is an unbelievable price.

There are other things, but those can be countered with my sharp wit.

What else is Apple going to come up with? It's going to be just like this a just a matter of years.

In conclusion, I'll save my money for something useful, thank you. Like an Xbox 360 or something.

iPredict that this thing will be an iFail!